Letting Her Go
by Aleanbh
Summary: "He can't let her see that this has been a moment of weakness. She has always been one of the few able to see through him, so he must get through this. He must go on." Post 6x05, The Red Tattoo. The murder of Kira Tinsley has stirred up old memories for Cho, and things escalate before he can stop them.


_**AN:**__ A tag for 6x05, __The Red Tattoo__. I'm sure I'm not the only one who was reminded of Summer by Kira, so I decided the thought might have occurred to Cho too. More than a little late, but I hope you enjoy. Please review!_

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Her wicked smile, the way she looks through him as though he is an open book to her. Sure, she looks physically similar to Summer, but it is these previous qualities that remind him most of the love he had lost. He _had_ lost her, and it had been on purpose. Not that he had wanted to, but he had; he had forced her away from him for both their goods. And it _had_ been good for her, for she is married now, to someone else. She is a mother now. He misses her, and usually it is little, insignificant things that remind him of her, memories coming, seemingly from nowhere, unbidden to his mind. When someone runs to hold the elevator doors at the last second, he remembers when she'd done the same, and for the first time, had struck him, and for the first time, had kissed him. One morning his alarm fails to go off, and he, in his half-awake state, thinks that she must have been the culprit in her infuriatingly delightful way; but then he realises he is alone, and, waking fully, he remembers the truth of the situation. He feels lonelier than he has in a long, long time. He sees signs of her everywhere, but he realises specific memories and coherent thoughts of her are occurring to him less often these days. He supposes it's only natural, but today his thoughts of her were unavoidable, brought on by the happening of meeting Kira Tinsley.

Kira is dead now, murdered horribly by one of five people who may or not be Red John, and Kimball is sorry. He is sorry that such a deviously charming woman is now dead simply because she had the misfortune to place her trust in such an evil man. Cho is glad now she isn't Summer, though he knows it is wrong, and he thanks the foresight he had months ago when he sent Summer far away.

Cho goes home that evening, later than usual, and can't get away from the feeling of deep regret and sorrow when he thinks of poor Kira. He goes for a walk but it doesn't help much. When he gets home, he reaches for his phone and scrolls down his contacts, and inhales deeply as he stares at the 'Summer' looking back up at him. He is not desperate, does not want to start anything up between them again, and does not want to take her away from her new husband – he never would – and yet he needs to hear something from her, needs to hear something about her, needs to know that she is still okay, that she is still Summer.

He hits the dial button and, as he begins to think that this was a very bad idea, she picks up.

"Kimball?" it's her; her voice the same as ever

"Summer." He doesn't know quite what he is doing.

"Kimball! How are you?"

He goes to answer, but she cuts in.

"What's wrong, Kimball? What's happened?"

"Nothing, Summer. Nothing," he lies. "Everything's fine."

"Oh." She sounds a strange mixture of both relieved and disappointed. She has always been a constant mixture of opposites, it's what drew her to him. She exists as a series of opposing qualities, and a soft chuckle almost falls from him at the thought of her. How had he ever managed falling for someone so unlike himself?

"How are you, Summer," he says quickly, awareness growing at the need to remain as hard-hearted as possible. He can't let her now see that his calling her has been a moment of weakness. He knows that, despite what she has previously said, she has always been one of the few people in his life that can see through him. He must get through this phone call. He must go on. "How are things with you?"

"I'm great," she says softly, and he thinks he hears her sniff. "I'm a mother now."

"You sound proud. Congratulations."

"I _am_ proud," He can hear the indignant smile in her voice. "He's a doll. Very clever. He can sit up now. Oh, I miss you desperately, Kimball. I, uh - I don't think it'll be long before he's crawling all over the place."

"That's wonderful, " he says kindly. "I miss you too, Summer. I'm glad you've made such a life for yourself. "

Now she definitely sniffs. "I am happy." A pause. "I do miss you very much," she says quietly.

Cho hums his agreement. He has forgotten already how uncomfortable honesty such as Summer's can be.

"I do love my son," she says quickly. Perhaps she feels guilty. "And my husband. He's very good to me, Kimball. We're happy."

"I'm glad," he says.

"What about you?" She is trying to tease him in her playful way, but it doesn't quite work. "Any new girls on the scene?"

"Not really, Summer. Busy with work, you know."

Summer is quiet for a moment. "I really miss the work", she says then. "I miss feeling special. It can be very boring sometimes, with a sleeping baby, waiting for Marshall to come home from work. It was wonderful. You know, I used to feel like a secret agent working with you."

Cho sighs affectionately. It sounds like a half-laugh. "A secret agent, Summer?" He smiles to himself. "I suppose you were, after all."

Cho hears Summer hum with pleasure.

"It feels like that was all a dream. It was the best part of my life, Kimball, really. You turned my whole life around. I owe you the world, I wish – I wish I could give it to you-" she trails off.

"-You did", he says, before he can stop himself. This is going too far. She's married, for Christ's sake. They are finished, nothing more than old friends. They have been so for a long time. They've each put too much effort into forgetting the other to turn back now. He gets the feeling she is thinking something similar. He can hear her slightly awkward discomfort. He hopes he hasn't scared her off, for it was not his intention. They've been apart too long.

"Oh, Kimball," Summer says then in a rush, voice high-pitched and slightly false. He doesn't blame her. "it's been so good hearing from you. But I want you to know, you don't have to worry about me any more. I have a whole new life now, and I am happy. My life mightn't be as exciting as it was back then, hunting the bad guys, and falling for you; but you gave me what I have today, and I'll love you forever for that."

Cho cannot say any more. It's time to let her go.

"Goodbye, Summer. I'd better let you go now. Take care of that boy for me now, and yourself." He pauses. "And Marshall."

She laughs. "I will. And you're right to let me go, Kimball. Make sure you do." She sniffs one last time. "'Bye, Cho."

He hangs up. _Time to let her go_, he thinks. _High time_.


End file.
